Chapter Four

 

 

Alan grumpily thumped his feet onto the ground in a forward motion, towards the jet plane that stood on the airport runway. His shoulders were starting to ache with the tension that was there, causing them to hunch, and his head had started to hurt with the anger that he felt towards Ellie. He'd had little sleep because of the conflicting thoughts that had relentlessly chased themselves, of seeing her again.

 

He'd tossed and turned and eventually had given up all hope of succumbing to the wonderful sensation of relaxation and sleep. He'd gotten up at that point and had paced. He'd spied the bottle of scotch and had wanted a drink, but he'd known that he couldn't. He'd wanted to be fresh of mind for where they all were going. Well, he hadn't wanted to be fuzzy-brained with alcohol. Instead he was now fuzzy-brained from lack of sleep.

 

He looked up at that point and frowned. Standing around some steps that led up to the opening of the jet were about twelve men in combats, looking around the area surrounding them; their guns and rifles held in front of them at the ready. In the midst of them he could see Ellie and her husband, Mark. He watched, still walking forward, as Ellie pushed her way past the man in front of her and made her way towards him.

 

Beyond her he could see Mark conversing with another man. Then, as Mark nodded, the man turned from him and, one by one, the men dressed in combats started to enter the jet. Then he didn't see anything at all, as Ellie hugged him to her.

 

He moved away from her. The last thing he wanted was any form of comforting from Ellie, and he hated himself for that. He loved Ellie, but right at this moment in time he wanted to be angry with her. He hadn't liked the thought of her accompanying him, and he really hated the fact that her husband was now coming along for the ride too. He had a bad feeling about this, something he'd spent all night trying to expel, but it had been persistent and the more he had thought on it, the more substantial his uneasiness had become.

 

He looked down at Ellie and whispered, "Ellie, please, don't do that..."

 

She looked back up at him, then lowered her head, "I'm sorry, Alan..."

 

He took her by the arms then. He hated to see her all repentant, it weakened him, but he couldn't afford to be weak right now. He moved her chin, so that she looked at him again, then he said, "And don't do that either, Ellie... I'm not in the wrong with this... And you know it..."

 

She nodded.

 

Alan then looked beyond her, towards Mark. All the men in combats were now gone; seated on the jet, he guessed. He looked back at Ellie and asked, "What are all the combats doing here...?"

 

"They're our protection... Mark arranged them..."

 

He shook his head, "Ellie, they can't come... Just as you and Mark shouldn't be coming..."

 

She ignored him and added, "Mark thought we had a better chance of survival if we had some company that could look after us..."

 

Alan turned away from her at that point. He really wanted to keep his temper in check. He stuffed one hand in the other, wringing it out, until he felt his tendons strain against the tension there. He then turned back to Ellie and shook his head. "Ellie," he said through gritted teeth, "This isn't a day out for the kids... This isn't going to be a picnic..."

 

"Don't you think I know that, Alan...? Don't you think Mark knows that...? That's why he got them to come along..."

 

"I *know* why he got them, Ellie," Alan protested, "But all he's done by getting them, is sign their death warrants..."

 

It was Ellie's turn to turn away from Alan. She paced a step away from him then turned back. "Bullshit, Alan... And you know that..." she angrily accused him.

 

"Bullshit, my ass, Ellie..." he angrily retorted back at her, "Have they been on Isla Nublar...? Or Isla Sorna...?"

 

Ellie nodded.

 

'Okay', Alan silently thought, feeling his heart blossom with hope, 'Okay, so they've got experience, that's good...' but that hope painfully burst in his chest when he heard Ellie say,

 

"They were among the one's that saved you and Billy and the Kirby's..."

 

Alan started to laugh then, but it wasn't a laugh of joy, it was a laugh to relieve himself of the helplessness of the situation. "The beach..." he eventually choked out.

 

Ellie frowned, "What...?"

 

"The beach... That's as far as they got, Ellie... They-they don't have a clue what it's gonna be like over there..." He then moved past her and strode towards Mark, who was still standing by the steps that led up into the jet. He still continued to stride onwards, then, as he passed Mark, he said, "They can't come. I know why you got them, but-but they can't come... They have *no* idea..."

 

Mark shrugged, "And like I do, Alan...?"

 

Alan stopped then and turned to him. Through gritted teeth of anger he said, "And you *know* how happy I am about that..." Without waiting for an answer, he then turned away from Mark and started up the steps two at a time. When he reached the top, he entered the jet, and called out, "Alright, out... All of you... Out... Now!!..."

 

Mark had followed and now grabbed Alan by the arm and turned him to face him. "They're coming, Alan, whether you like it or not..."

 

"I don't like it and they're *not* coming along..." he muttered through gritted teeth of anger and shrugged his arm away from Mark's hand. "This is getting out of hand... It was only meant to be *me*..."

 

Again, Mark shrugged, "Well, now it's not..."

 

Alan shoved his face close to Mark's and whispered angrily, "You're gonna get them killed..."

 

"And that's *my* responsibility, Alan, not yours..."

 

Without turning Alan pointed in the general direction of the combats and said, "*They're* here because of you and you're only here because of Ellie and Ellie's here because of me, so *don't* give me that crap about it being *your* responsibility, Mark... If I weren't here then none of you would be..."

 

Ellie suddenly entered the conversation, "C'mon guys, they're their own responsibility... If they hadn't wanted to come along, then someone else would-a taken their place..."

 

Both men turned to her.

 

She added, "So, can we get the macho stuff outta the way and just get on with it...?"

 

Both men still looked at her, but said nothing.

 

She turned to face the men that were already seated and asked, "Anyone here that doesn't want to come along...? You can leave right now if you want...?" She watched as each man turned to another and then one by one shook their heads at her. She then turned to Alan and Mark and shrugged, "Looks like they're coming..."

 

Alan snarled at her, feeling a hundred unpleasant names fight for the right to be expressed, nudge at him. He did his best to ignore each one of them, then sighed heavily. He moved away from Ellie and Mark and sat down, silently looking out of the window. He hated the situation he now found himself in. Everything was spiraling out of control and he really didn't like the feeling at all.

 

He felt the arm of his seat move and turned to the cause. Ellie was seated next to him; her hand raised slightly and then rested on his own arm. He gently shrugged the hand away and whispered, "Go sit with your husband, Ellie..." He then turned away from her and looked out of the window again. He knew what he'd said was going to hurt her, but he really didn't feel like taking it back.

 

He felt the arm of his seat move again and knew then that Ellie had gone. He swallowed the guilt that made his heart ache and watched as the runway started to move; silently whispering a prayer that they all would get safely back again.

 

*****

 

Billy handed over a wad of notes to the man in front of him, then as the man moved away, he stood, picked up his rucksack and started of after him. He raised a hand in front of him and waved Eric over.

 

"You do it...?" Eric asked, the moment he was beside Billy.

 

Billy nodded, smiling, and said, "Looks like we're about to go get what we've both dreamed of..."

 

Eric glanced at the back of the man in front of them both, then looked back at Billy. "He taking us all the way...?"

 

"Nope, but he said he'll let us para-sail in the rest of the way... His boat's used for that type of thing..."

 

For a moment Eric blanched at the thought. The last time he'd done something like that, it hadn't been pleasant for him. He looked up when he felt a hand go to his shoulder.

 

"It's alright, Eric," Billy assured him, "I'll find an area to land in that's free of trees... Alright...?"

 

The young man sighed with relief and nodded. Then both he and Billy were jumping onto the speedboat that was to be the first part of their adventure and of making their dream come true...

 

*****

 

Alan could feel sleep nudging at his consciousness, but he fought it all the way. He had no idea how long he'd been asleep, when he felt himself jolt to full wakefulness. He looked around himself. He was no longer on the plane, but deep in a forest. He shook his head. He was dreaming still, he knew it, but no matter what he did, he couldn't wake himself.

 

He gulped back his fear and stood. He could hear the angry growls of animals that should be long dead, but weren't. He then heard a scream; high pitched and full of fear.

 

He started running... It was Ellie...

 

All thoughts that it was only a dream left him the moment he'd heard the scream. He ran ever faster, the growls of the animals about him growing in strength. He didn't care... He *had* to get to Ellie.

 

On and on he ran, through the overgrowth of vines, shoving them away from him, until he got into a clearing. There, in its centre stood Ellie, over the body of her husband, surrounded by three Raptors. One showed the evidence of having just fed; blood dripped from its jaws, along with the bloodied flesh of its victim.

 

Alan took another look at Ellie and Mark. Ellie had blood on her hands and shirt, and tears on her face and she was sobbing uncontrollably. Mark was lying still, in an awkward position at her feet. He knew then just who the victim had been.

 

He started forward again, forgetting that any movement would draw the Raptors gaze. Just as he reached Ellie, she was suddenly wrenched from him; her wails of heartache dying in an instant. He turned to see a Raptor standing over her body. It raised its head and Alan knew then that it was readying itself to plunge its mouth into Ellie's body.

 

He ran and jumped full speed into the body of the Raptor, knocking it from Ellie. He landed heavily with the breath knocked from him, and with the Raptor above him. He strained his head to look for Ellie. She was as he'd last seen her, lying, unmoving, on the ground. He looked back at the Raptor above him and knew that his time had come.

 

The Raptor raised a foot and kicked out at him.

 

Alan winced when he felt the pain of a rib break, but before he could do anything about it, he felt another kick and another. He rolled with each one, feeling dizzy and nauseous. He came to a stop and looked up again.

 

It looked like the Raptor was laughing at him. It let rip with a couple of chatters and then looked down at him, eye to eye. Alan gulped his fear and then his surprise as the Raptor then moved one step away from him. 'He's playing with me...' he thought. 'Oh God, he's playing with me...'

 

He shakily stood, feeling the rush of adrenaline leave his body, and looked for Ellie again. She was still down, but she was alive. He saw her chest rise, slowly and painfully, but with that he knew she still drew breath. He looked back at the Raptor with the knowledge that he was going to die... He thought he'd be more afraid, but he wasn't... He would do anything to save Ellie and if that meant to give up his life, he'd do it... He knew it...

 

His mind quickly played out his mistakes in life... There had been many, but the most harmful one to himself, had been when he'd let Ellie go... He felt the tears rise in him as the heartache he'd felt at that time, consume him again...

 

He looked at Ellie with remorse and whispered, "I'm so sorry, Ellie... Forgive me..." Then he charged at the Raptor in front of him. It stood its ground and flipped its head at Alan. He felt his feet leave the ground and he hurtled backwards. He groaned in pain, when his body made contact with something behind him, and unable to keep himself upright he sagged to the ground in a heap.

 

He then found himself on his hands and knees, desperately gasping breath back into his body. He looked beyond the legs of the Raptor, to see another approach Ellie on the ground. Regardless of anything, Alan suddenly stood and started to run forward again, only to find himself repelled again. He stood again, and again, and again, feeling his strength dissipate, then leave him completely in an instant. He staggered and then fell, already looking for Ellie.

 

The Raptor above her turned and looked him straight in the eye. It continued to do that as it slowly lowered its head towards Ellie.

 

Alan had never felt as helpless as he did now. He was shuddering uncontrollably with shock and the pain of knowing what was about to happen. He desperately wanted to close his eyes against it all, but he couldn't. The pain in his chest rose, the tears of helplessness pricked his eyes and then agonizingly fell without restraint. He was about to lose the most fundamental thing in his life and there was nothing he could do about it. He choked on his sobs.

 

He heard Ellie whisper his name, full of sorrow and fear. It stabbed at him, until he couldn't feel anything else. He then saw the Raptor slowly look away from him and, in contradiction, suddenly plunge its head downwards.

 

Alan shot up from where he lay and yelled his remorse and heartache... "E-E-E-LL-IE-IE-IE...!!!"

 

*****

 

Ellie sat quietly next to her husband, but occasionally glanced towards Alan; only an aisle width away, but it might just as well have been a Continent. On the third glance, however, she noticed Alan's legs had begun to shift uneasily beneath him. She looked up and into his face. His eyes were rapidly moving beneath his lids and he was breathing erratically; not with the ease of a deep sleep.

 

He was having a nightmare...

 

She'd seen him have a few before, mostly just after they'd returned from Jurassic for the first time. They'd been about her and how he had been unable to save her. She then wondered if he'd had any since returning from Isla Sorna. She wouldn't have been surprised if he had and it hurt her to think that she hadn't been there this time for him. That he'd probably'd had them and had had to suffer them without anyone there to help him.

 

Alan'd now started to mumble and his head had started to move. She looked to Mark and he silently nodded at her. She got out of her seat and moved to sit next to Alan. His hands were now gripping and then relaxing. 'Oh boy,' she thought, 'this is one heck of a nightmare...'

 

And she could see the nightmare was rapidly blossoming. Ignoring her concern for him, the best she could, Ellie leant a little forward, shook his shoulder and softly called his name, but Alan still remained firmly locked in his nightmare. She'd hoped her calling him would have helped, but, if anything, his agitation had grown. His whole body was now rigid with whatever was happening to him in his dream, and Ellie hated that.

 

She shook him a little harder and called a little louder, but still he fought against her. Still he lived his nightmare. She was about to try again, when he suddenly shot forward and yelled her name, over and over again. Tears instantly sprang to her eyes. The pain in which he'd called for her was almost tangible. It filled the tiny area of the jet plane and swept into her heart.

 

She grabbed Alan and pulled him to her. "Shh," she whispered, running a hand through his hair, "Shh, it's alright, Alan..." she consoled him. "I'm alright..." What tore at her the most though, was the shudders she could feel coming from him; the moans of despair that were wrenched from him. She had no idea how she could stop them, only that she wanted to.

 

She continued to console him, whispering unintelligibly in his ear, until she felt the shudders subside and the breathing become deep and even. She then moved away from him and sat back on her own seat.

 

Alan still sat forward. She watched as the hand that he raised to his face shook uncontrollably. She wanted to take it in her own and soothe the shakes away, but she couldn't... Not this time... So, instead, she sat a little further back in her seat and waited for him to get himself back in control; all the while despising the fact that she couldn't help him.

 

Eventually she saw him turn to her, and she smiled. "Okay...?" she softly asked.

 

Alan nodded. "Sorry..." he whispered back, "Guess I musta eaten something that didn't agree with me..." He tried to joke, but the nightmare was still running rampant in his thoughts. It felt good to see that Ellie was alright, that it had all been a nightmare, but he still felt the pain eat at him that he couldn't console *himself* by touching her, feeling her breathe against him.

 

He then turned away and resumed to look out of the window of the jet. "Thank you, Ellie," he eventually whispered, but she had already returned to her husband's side.

 

*****

 

Ellie silently sat back down next to Mark and quietly accepted his hand. She felt him squeeze it, a sign of re-assurance. She looked up at him and smiled.

 

Mark nodded towards Alan and asked, "Alan alright now...?"

 

She nodded, but felt the need to elaborate, "He had them after we returned from Jurassic the first time. Not as badly, but still, he had them..." She paused a moment before adding, "I guess going back there has brought them all back again..."

 

Mark briefly looked over at Alan, then back at Ellie. He wasn't surprised to find himself commiserating with Alan. Ellie had told him some of it, but not all of what happened at Jurassic. He suddenly realized that if a place could paralyze a man such as Alan Grant, with nightmares, he wondered, truly wondered now, what the hell it would do to him.

 

*******

 

End of Chapter Four