Chapter II

            Though I’ve never told her that.

Maybe you should.

            God bless you, Ellie.

            I love you.

            After the Marines had returned them to the mainland U.S.A., Grant had written a letter expressing his greatest thanks to Ellie and her husband, Mark. There was no telling what could have befallen their hapless group had it not been for their timely rescue. And there was no doubt in Grant’s mind that Billy Brennan, his former assistant, would have died that day. Grant could never have forgiven himself if Billy had died under his supposedly protective wing.

            Not waiting for a response to his letter, Grant (with Billy in tow) decided to lay low and begin life in absolute quiet. They were, in a way, successful: Billy took on a job as a manager at a local mart to make some money, Grant was occasionally hired out to lecture on paleontology (always avoiding questions aimed at his involvement with Jurassic Park), and the credit card that Hammond had given him were tying any loose ends.

            For three years, Grant and Billy lived in an apartment in a Snakewater condominium that sat next to the local interstate, which headed out into the Badlands. They enjoyed the peace and quiet, even while their neighbors discussed Jurassic Park, and they were secluded from their closest fellows. The only ones who knew where to find Dr. Alan Grant and Mr. William Brennan were Billy’s relatives and friends and John Hammond (who, at the head of a major corporation, was impossible to shake).

            He had disappeared from out of Ellie and Mark’s radar. He didn’t want to speak with them. Grant felt that he had left that part of his life behind and that it was time to start anew. Ellie’s presence would hardly be incentive to keep it up. So the Deglers hadn’t the slightest clue where to find him or how to get a hold of him.

            More than once, Grant found himself wanting to hear her silky, reassuring voice at the other end of the line, especially when Billy had died, but each time he had caught himself and held back.

            Not this time. This, he felt, was important enough to reveal himself once again.

            The phone rang three times before a small voice answered the phone. “Hello?”

            Grant didn’t immediately recognize it. “Who is this?”

            “Who is this?”

            “Charlie? Is that you?”

            “Yes, who is this?” Charlie responded. He was Mark and Ellie’s first child. Grant had forgotten that it had been several years since last he saw the young boy, in his backyard, playing with plastic dinosaurs.

            “Wow, I didn’t even realize it was you, Charlie,” Grant said, faking enthusiasm. “You must be, what, eight now?”

            “Seven. Who is this?”

            The boy was persistent; Grant had to give him that. “Charlie, do you remember the Dinosaur Man?”

            “The Dinosaur Man?” It was a genuine question. Charlie was stumped.

            Alan, he’s three.

            “Never mind,” Grant said wearily. “You were too young to remember. Can I please speak with your mommy, Charlie?”

            “May I ask whose calling?”

            Grant had to chuckle. Kids. “Tell her it’s Alan.”

            “Okay.”

            Grant heard the click of the receiver being set down and then Charlie’s voice calling out to Ellie, followed by what sounded like an exclamation of surprise. The padding of shoes across tile came through the phone and then a hurried voice which shook him to the bone.

            “Alan?” Short of breath, daring not to hope.

            “Hello, Ellie.”

            “God damn it, Alan! Where the hell have you been? I’ve looked all over for you. You don’t know how many hours Mark and I put into finding you. I didn’t know if you were dead or alive or sick or what, Alan, god damn it, say something!”

            A feeling of sheepishness was drowned out by a flood of memories that threatened to pull him under and choke him. He fought against the tide and closing his eyes, whispered, “I’m sorry.”

            Ellie had no such compunction. The tears were nearly audible as they fell from her eyes. “Alan…I’ve been so worried. All these years. You and Billy just…just disappeared. No one knew where to find you. I tried everything I could think of and I just couldn’t find you. Where did you go, Alan?”

            The sigh escaped from behind his trembling hand. “Ah, Ellie, I couldn’t keep in touch. So much had happened—I just wanted to start again. I couldn’t do that with you still there. And if you knew where I lived you’d insist and insist and eventually I’d cave.”

            “Just like you always did,” she said in a faraway manner.

“Just like I always did. So, with a little help from Mr. Hammond and Billy, I managed to start fresh.”

“Mr. Hammond knew where you were the whole time?” Incredulous.

“Yes. I’ve been living off his generosity for years now. He’s actually why I called—”

Ellie was indignant. “He told me he had no idea where you were and that if I found you that I should let you know he needed to talk to you. I can’t believe he lied!”

“I asked him to do that for me,” Grant responded quietly. “Other than him, it was just Billy’s people that knew.”

“Billy,” she muttered fondly. “How’s he doing?”

“Um, he died, Ellie.” The hoarseness hadn’t gone yet. Whenever he talked of Billy, his throat became scratchy and his repression became evident.

“Oh, my God, Alan, I’m so sorry,” she said. There was that reassuring and silky voice, the one that had helped him fall for her. She stuttered, “When, how?”

“Plane crash. A year ago.” He faltered, then pressed on. “But I’m trying to put that behind me too. I called about something else. Have you been watching the news?”

“No, why?”

“I heard some bad news this morning. Hammond’s dead.”

The silence at the end of the phone was not telling. Since Jurassic Park, little had been exchanged between them concerning the rich old kook and it hadn’t been long after they returned that they decided to part ways. Grant could never gauge how she felt. Did she blame him for what happened? And if she did, had she yet forgiven him? Did she see Hammond how Grant saw him or did she see him as an enemy to her happiness? For all he knew about her, for everything he had learned in their time together, he still couldn’t decide what it was she thought of him.

After several seconds of complete quiet, Ellie mumbled in a low voice, almost as if saying it could get her killed, “Is it over then?”

“Is what over?” Grant asked, perplexed.

“Jurassic Park,” Ellie said, as if it were obvious. “Site B. Hammond was the staunchest supporter for its preservation. If we gather enough people, Alan, we can have the island destroyed. Put an end to the nightmares, finally be free—”

“Nightmares? You’re having nightmares?”

He heard her lick her lips. “Almost everyday since the beginning. Alan, I wake up in the middle of the night, sweating and crying. I’ve never tried to remember what goes on when I dream, but I know it has to do with you…you and the park. But I know you’re alive now, and we can make my nightmares go away, Alan. We’ll gather everyone that’s been through what we’ve been through. Ian, Dr. Harding, the Green Peace guy and the hunter, plus that family, the Kirbys. Even…” Here she hesitated. “…even Lex and Tim.”

Grant’s eyes studied the nicks on the old wood desk. “Ellie, those animals are protected. They’re even on the endangered species list. We can’t touch them anymore. InGen can’t even touch them anymore. It’s a matter of international law now.”

“But if we gather the support—”

“No matter how many people testify that the island is dangerous, there will always be people who will picket and rally against it. They’ll say it’s like great white sharks: they’ve been known to attack and kill humans, but under the protection of the law they can’t be exterminated.”

“They aren’t natural. They’re not native to the island. They’re abominations, and they should all be destroyed.”

They should all be destroyed.

Grant shook his head. “There’s nothing we can do, Ellie. You’ll be wasting time and energy. We won’t be able to destroy Site B.”

“My God, Alan, I thought you’d want it to be gone. It sounds like you don’t want to bomb Sorna at all.”

“I don’t know what I want,” Grant said. “But killing them won’t make the bad dreams go away, Ellie. In fact, I think it’d be worse. Just leave it alone.”

“Right,” Ellie said, sniffling, unconvinced. “You’re right. So…what does it mean?”

“What does what mean?”

“Hammond? Why did you call?”

“I don’t really know, Ellie,” Grant admitted. “I guess I just wanted to share the information with somebody close. Somebody that went through what I went through. Hammond…Hammond has been the reason I haven’t starved yet. He set up a billing system for me. He was like a guardian angel.”

“Pay-offs and insults,” Ellie grunted.

Malcolm. She’d gotten that from Malcolm.

“No, it’s deeper than that,” Grant said. “He was really sorry. I heard it in his voice. He was guilty and he was looking for repentance, sure, but wouldn’t you? I may have blamed him before, but now…now I know he was just doing what he thought was the right thing.”

Ellie didn’t say anything for a moment. “Wasn’t it you who told me that some of the worst things have been done with the best intentions?”

“Yes,” Grant said. “I said that. But that doesn’t make the intentions any less noble. No one could have predicted what happened at Jurassic Park.”

“Except for Ian.”

“Yeah, except for him. But no one would have listened to him anyway. They still don’t.” They shared a forced laugh. Grant continued, “If Hammond had known, he would have pulled the plug on it. He had some kind of hope or something that the future could be a better place once he was through showing his creation off to mankind.”

“I’d say it was worse off, wouldn’t you?”

“My future doesn’t matter in the scheme of things.”

“It does to me. Alan, where have you been all this time?”

After a pause, Grant told her. He predicted that she would not be too pleased with what he had to say, and when he’d finished, he saw he was right.

“He gave you unlimited credit and you haven’t been using it?” Ellie’s exasperation could be felt from thousands of mile away. “You deserve better than that, Alan, and you know it. All you’ve gone through and you live in the trailer, alone?”

“Ellie, it’s not that bad—”

“Pack your things,” she said strongly, almost angrily. “Pack your things right fucking now, Alan Grant. You’re moving in with us. We’ll buy the ticket and you can be here in D.C. with us by tomorrow.”

“You know I can’t do that, Ellie,” Grant said sadly. “I won’t be a burden to you or your family. I couldn’t stand a world where I was perpetually in you or Mark’s way. I can’t…I can’t impede on your life. I refuse to be a burden.”

“Bullshit,” Ellie spat between a sob. “You just think it’ll be a burden on you.”

“I just called to talk about Hammond,” Grant responded as if he hadn’t heard her. “Just wanted you to know, that’s all. I have to go now, Ellie. Bye.”

As he put the receiver back down, he could hear Ellie cry out, “Alan, don’t hang up. Alan—”

And then he was standing up and walking out the door, through the gas station and into the afternoon sun, climbing into his pick-up and driving back to his small property on the outskirts of Snakewater.

Like a zombie, Grant returned to his spot amongst the rocky hills, detached the truck, detached himself and fell asleep nursing a bottle of beer.